Excited to see all the new movie flicks? Raring to stampede into the cinemas? Already on your heels to make a break for the exits as soon as the clock hits 5pm? Well, cool your jets my friends. Before romping off into a 2-hr virtual adventure, read the warning signs, the “directions for use” and the weather forecasts. Take heed of road blocks & be advised of re-routing. Consider this as your very own public advisory for movies. Your personal cinema stoplight. Red means stop in your tracks, your eyes will bleed. Yellow means venture at your own risk. Green means go go go, and spend the greens for this flick - its worth it. Have fun & enjoy the show!
***
Watching movies nowadays is like flipping a coin or rolling a dice – there are no guarantees into what you are getting yourself into. Most of the time movie trailers are cut-up, pre-cooked, and gift-wrapped to look like a shadow of its real self, misleading the movie-goers. Previews and interviews are just as intentionally ambiguous, feigning interest and intrigue on basically any popcorn flick around. Well this movie-reviewer is not in the pocket of any producer, not indebted to any director, and holds no alliances to any actors. Expect an unbiased, honest, humble, and most importantly witty assessment of all the upcoming screen flicks. I will fearlessly dive into Opening Night Wednesdays and take the first hit… I will be part of the first wave… To make sure the coast is clear for the rest of you to follow.
Now as I said, watching movies nowadays is like flipping a coin. Check that – it IS tossing a coin. And in more ways than one. First, well…. It costs money… Watching a movie is quite literally tossing a whole bag of coins. I remember it used to cost 50 bucks a pop when I watched Dumb and Dumber. Now I just watch my life: just Poor and Poorer.
Second, there are always two sides to any coin – to any movie. It is simply a fact that there is no such thing as a perfect work-of-art, and this encapsulates cinema as well. In fact you can go as far as claim that art receives its beauty from its imperfections (See Note below). ANY movie has a flaw, and this is both due to our philosophical view of humans as flawed beings or my loud-mouth POV that we people are just way too critical of everything. (If an angel miraculously appeared before me, I’d probably complain of the brightness of his entrance.) In this sense, it is always best to enumerate the heads (criticisms) and tales (wondrousness a.k.a. the upside) of any movie.
Lastly, a coin cannot stand without a face up much like a movie cannot be judged as commendable or utterly forgettable. After all the rising and falling actions, the cheers and the jeers, after the tumbling, twisting, and rolling of the coin, it must inevitably come to an abrupt end. A conclusion. A final tipping of the scale. A face will reveal itself: Heads or Tales? Good or Bad? As the credits roll and unfamiliar names bolt past the screen...
***
Watching movies nowadays is like flipping a coin or rolling a dice – there are no guarantees into what you are getting yourself into. Most of the time movie trailers are cut-up, pre-cooked, and gift-wrapped to look like a shadow of its real self, misleading the movie-goers. Previews and interviews are just as intentionally ambiguous, feigning interest and intrigue on basically any popcorn flick around. Well this movie-reviewer is not in the pocket of any producer, not indebted to any director, and holds no alliances to any actors. Expect an unbiased, honest, humble, and most importantly witty assessment of all the upcoming screen flicks. I will fearlessly dive into Opening Night Wednesdays and take the first hit… I will be part of the first wave… To make sure the coast is clear for the rest of you to follow.
Now as I said, watching movies nowadays is like flipping a coin. Check that – it IS tossing a coin. And in more ways than one. First, well…. It costs money… Watching a movie is quite literally tossing a whole bag of coins. I remember it used to cost 50 bucks a pop when I watched Dumb and Dumber. Now I just watch my life: just Poor and Poorer.
Second, there are always two sides to any coin – to any movie. It is simply a fact that there is no such thing as a perfect work-of-art, and this encapsulates cinema as well. In fact you can go as far as claim that art receives its beauty from its imperfections (See Note below). ANY movie has a flaw, and this is both due to our philosophical view of humans as flawed beings or my loud-mouth POV that we people are just way too critical of everything. (If an angel miraculously appeared before me, I’d probably complain of the brightness of his entrance.) In this sense, it is always best to enumerate the heads (criticisms) and tales (wondrousness a.k.a. the upside) of any movie.
Lastly, a coin cannot stand without a face up much like a movie cannot be judged as commendable or utterly forgettable. After all the rising and falling actions, the cheers and the jeers, after the tumbling, twisting, and rolling of the coin, it must inevitably come to an abrupt end. A conclusion. A final tipping of the scale. A face will reveal itself: Heads or Tales? Good or Bad? As the credits roll and unfamiliar names bolt past the screen...
John Trevor – First Assistant Producer
Rebecca Allison – a Costume-something-er
Charles Di&@($&whatthehell*#!!??.....
--- blur ---
Rebecca Allison – a Costume-something-er
Charles Di&@($&whatthehell*#!!??.....
--- blur ---
...it is either you are bobbing your head in approval of the cinematic communication or shaking your head in disbelief at the senseless waste of color, electricity, and time. And so too shall this blog render a final judgment upon movies it entertains. But as my coin-analogy promises, there will be twists and turns along the way before the final analysis… And hopefully a bundle of laughs too. Enjoy! I know I will…
No comments:
Post a Comment